The Pink Flamingo :: The Pink Flamingo's 86th Edition Thursday Thirteen

Miss Beverly Sills - aka Bubbles Silverman (when she is bad, which is ALWAYS) was born around the end of September, 2007. In honor of the late, great Siegfried and Brunhilda, Bubbles decided to declare September 26 as her birthday. To celebrate the first year of her life, she has released a few select photos.

1. I AM ADOPTED

Nobody knows how I first came into the world. Somehow I ended up at Robert's house. Robert works for my grandparents. He knew that my mommy was looking for a baby to adopt who was calico, because Miss Piggy had died in the summer. I was the Purrfect choice. Robert brought me to my mommy's house on November 28. Mommy wrote:

"Miss Beverly Sills Reidhead is about 9 weeks old. Her "birth father" dropped her off today. Photos of her bath and adoption are on T

he Pink Flamingo Kitties. She is very fluffy, and could have some Persian in her. Her face could even have a little pushed in appearance. I think she has adopted me as her "mommy". Rumsfeld is at the poodle spa tomorrow and will be returning tomorrow afternoon. Unfortunately he will probably terrorize the little one who has survived being mauled by an attacking mini-weeny-dog. I'm currently trying to get her to eat something. She's been living outside and was a mess when she came 'home'. I'm concerned because she is quite thin and don't want another Miss Piggy incident. The little angel is so frail. She is a cuddles and just wants to be held and loved. I'm going to go and try to get her to eat something. That's all I need is another thousand dollar kitten."

You know that mean old bath? I still don't like water all that much.

2. MY NEW HOME
I quickly adjusted to life in my new home. The Pink Flamingo kitties worried me about the Demon Dog from Hell, but Rumsfeld knew I was just a little girl who was lonely and just a little bit sick, so he was nice to me. Go figure?

3. VERY SICK LITTLE GIRL
Mommy was upset because I was so thin and sneezed a lot. She took me to Dr. Fran

klin who said I was so frail and so malnourished that I might not be able to grow up. He also said if I did

grow up, I would be a tiny little girl. BO

Y DID I FOOL HIM! So, I had to eat Fancy Feast for a whole year. I know (sigh) it was a dirty job, but someone needed to do it. Grandmommy thought it would be funny if she opened a bunch of cans of Fancy Feast to see which I liked most. I fooled her. I like 'em all!

4. I AM BLESSED

Two weeks after I came to live with Mommy, I went to church. My Auntie Raymona was there to be my godmother.

She's a really good godmother. Sydney highly recommended her as a godmother. Sydney

and I are buddies. She likes kittens and I like anyone who likes kittens. She has lots and lots of experience and loves kitties. Fr. Tom blessed me. He's a nice person, too. He likes kitties. His whole family likes kitties and animals, so now I am an Episcopal cat. It was a nice experience, but exhausting for such a little girl like me. I was tired and slept through most of it. I was told that Rumsfeld was very good when he was blessed, but then turned into a monster later. I'm Purrfect! Fr. Tom is the one who decided if I was bad, I was going to be called "Bubbles Silverman". I don't know why. Mommy says I am named after one of her favorite opera singers. I DO NOT LIKE OPERA.

5. HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE

6. BABY'S FIRST CHRISTMAS
I like Christmas.

It is fun. I got to play under the Christmas Tree and got presents. I highly recommend Christmas as a holiday for kitties! Please do not comment on these photos. I was just a little kid. I know they could make the cover of Bad Kitty, but I was just a baby. I did not know any different.

7. GROWING UP

My mommy says I had the sharpest claws of any baby she ever knew. I was constantly using her legs as a scratching post. What did I know? I was just a little kid. Everyone in the family pitched in to make sure I was happy and had everything a Purrfect little girl could want. Even Rumsfeld helped take care of

me!
8. EXPLORING
I like to explore. What can I say? I'm a cat. Can you find the cute kitten in this photo?

9. MOMMY CAT & I
The Pink Flamingo Kitties made me feel right at home, taking me under the

ir "wings" and teaching me how to be a house kitten. I learned how to use the kitty litter and not make a mess. They taught me how to find fresh wate

r in the house, and where the best bowl of Meow Mix was. Mommy Cat had just given up a litter of kittens for adoption. She was very sad. She decided I was her new baby. She even let me nurse her! She's a good mommy cat. I later learned that Mommy Cat had a little kitten who died the same week I came to live at her house. It is obvious she substituted me for her missing baby.

10. THE BOX
One of the first things I learned when I went to live with the Pink Flamingo Kitties was about THE BOX. The Box

sits on the table by Mommy. The Box is the most important sleeping place in the whole world! When I was a littl

e girl, Bat Masterson would sometimes let me snuggle with him in The Box. When I grew older I learned how get in The Box before Bat Masterson. He pretends he gets angry, but I know he really doesn't care. The whole idea is to help Mommy write on her computer. Doc Holiday is best at helping her on the computer. She likes to day, "Doc, get off the computer!" One day I will be old enough to learn how to be on the computer like Doc!

11

. PLANTS
Plants are our friends. The

y taste good. They can be used for an emergency litt

er box. The dirt in plants is fun to play in. If you are lucky, you can scatter it everywhere! Then, you find the dirt that is on the floor and use it for a litter box. You only do this when you are extremely angry with your Mommy. It makes a hugemongous big mess. You gotta watch out, though because idiots like Rumsfeld think they can use your plant dirt litter for a pee pad! I get so tired of Rumsfeld and his pee pads. Okay, I use 'em too.

12. HELPING AROUND THE HOUSE

I know this sounds silly but one of the things I enjoy most is helping Mommy around the house. Let's be honest here, Mommy i

s a lousy

house-keeper. The only reason she bought us that hot new automatic litter box is because she is to lazy to scoop the poop and Rumsfeld got tired of pulli

ng all the cat turds out of it for her! She makes me use my tail to dust! Can you believe it? I think that is considered feline abuse or a violation of kitten labor laws. I do all kinds of stuff around the house. I dust the blinds. I help move stuff from one pile to another. (Editor's note - that mess is now cleaned up, so Bubbles is just making trouble!). I swear the house-work never ends!

13. BABYSITTING

One of the most funest parts of my life is babysit

ting for Mommy Cat's babies. I think it is a responsible adult kinda Purrfect thing to do. One of my jobs is keeping the little ones away from Rumsfeld. I don'

t know if he really dislikes kittens or he wants to hurt 'em. He never bothered me, but then I was not afraid of the little jerk. I don't mind admitting I've had a lot of fun with Hoss Cartwright. He's been a blast. It makes me feel like a grown-up. I'm teaching him all sorts of things, like proper litter box usage and how to annoy Rumsfeld. I'm teaching him how to play.