THURSDAY THIRTEEN

Thirteen Things I Would Have Done If I Had Been in Dick Cheney’s Place on Saturday!

1.    Invade Texas, redecorate Alamo

2.    Hitched a ride in an F-117 NightHawk

3.    Ordered pizza to be delivered to Harry Reid every 30 minutes for 48 hours
and charged it  to Nancy Pelosi  -
then do same from Nancy Pelosi

4.    Ruin Careers -
Release list of Dem Congresspersons and Senators
and say they ARE NOT on DC Madam’s phone list

5.    Sell Brooklyn Bridge for $24 to Manhattan Indians, or their ancestors

6.    Invade Disney World,
hold Dumbo hostage until 2008 GOP convention

7.    Paint Oval Office a lovely shade of pink

8.    Signed Executive Order funding Mars Colony, Moon Colony,
 half a dozen additional space stations
and new generation shuttle program

9.    “X”ed out all those things in West Virginia with Harry Bird’s name on it
and substituted my own

10.    Sign Executive Order forcing Cindy Sheehan to have total make-over,
wear dresses, make-up, matching shoes, hand-bags, furs, jewelry -
all designer togs - sent bill to Code Pink

11.    Charge Iraq War to George Soros,
if he refuses to pay,
send harassing foreclosure notices every hour
demand personal signature each time

12.    Demand Helen Thomas and Rush Limbaugh sing Kum-Bi-Ya holding hands

13.    Use HOT LINE to place 'breather' phone calls to
Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, Hugo Chavez,
Tom Tancredo, Barbara Boxer, Harry Reid, John Murtha,
Barack Obama, Cindy Sheehan