I theme blogging today and hope I finish before midnight.  I ended up doing the final tile work on the mosaic table I have been making, so I was up until 4AM!  Good thing TVLand was running a Star Trek night, complete with the Trouble with Tribbles. I now have the table grouted.  With luck later this evening it will dry enough for me to start rinsing the grout and putting on the sealer.  I think two coats are needed.  Naturally there is a notation on the jars of grout that it shouldn’t be ingested.  The dried grout is turning into a powder, which is all over the floor.  I wiped it up with a damp cloth.  So what do I find?  Bat (Brat) Masterson is there licking the floor.  

I’ve heard nothing about Miss Piggy today.  I’ve called several times, but no one answers.  I guess that is what I don’t like.  I just want someone to be there to take care of her.  But – I’ve accepted the fact that by the time the test results arrive she will be in kitty heaven.  I left a message on the vet’s phone telling him that I did not want her sent to Colorado for study.  She is going to be buried in the family cemetery.

Funny how a dying kitten can teach you so much about yourself, grief, and how people can just be pushed to the edge.  I am the family strong person.  Like something I read that Jeb Bush said about his big brother, about being the one who could shoot ‘Old Yeller right between the eyes if necessary, then be upset when no one was around – well, that’s me. I don’t cry – no one sees it.  Fortunately no one is ever home when I happen to land on a repeat of The Parent Trap (either version) where the grandfather appears. I bawl all by myself.  I disparately miss my grandfather Froehlich, now more than I did 12 years ago when he died.  But  - you never saw me shed a tear at his funeral.  Instead, the cemetery management came after me, my sister, and our two cousins for zooming through the processional (we were late) the top down on my LeBaron, with music playing as loud as we could get it.  The only thing missing, my aunt remarked, was a American flag waving in the breeze the way my grandfather would have loved it. I am the one who disrupts solemn moments with some smart mouth quip that makes everyone laugh. That is my role in life – the class clown.  

I’ve never shed a tear when my beloved pets have died.  I think the only time I’ve ever truly cried is when my sister lost her triplets.  And then – no one saw it.  But this little kitten has just wiped me out, and I don’t know why – back up, I do.

I will never be cursed with children, thank heaven! Let’s face it, if I can’t get Rumsfeld to behave, how on earth could I get kids to behave?  Thankfully I will never know the sorrow, the abject heartache my uncle knows after losing three children.  He has always remained calm, never ruffled.  I contrast this to the way you sometimes see people who express their grief in hysterical fashion.  I never understood  - until yesterday evening.

Last night I realized it wasn’t grief.  It was stress.  A person can only handle so much before having a Paris Hilton style breakdown.  (Unlike most self-righteous people, I truly feel sorry for her.  I think she is a spoiled brat who needs to learn about life – but the judge did her a great disservice by not sentencing her to a half-way house, or make her work in a soup kitchen or with AIDS babies.

I realized my embarrassing crying was not due to the impending loss of a precious little kitten, but an accumulation of two years (the first of May) worth of abject stress. Dealing with my mothers cardiac condition is one thing.  Add to it the deaths of four cats, a poodle, a severely broken elbow, broken foot, additional family crises, and my father’s march toward his mid-80’s, and I am a wreck.  I’ve also been targeted by a jealous colleague who is like a Pac man going behind my back causing trouble.  Then there is another person who just doesn’t stop lying about me and is doing her best to destroy any professional acquaintances I have.

I don’t want Miss Piggy to die.  But I realized her impending death is probably the catalyst I need for a good knock-down crying fit.  

In other words, when people go a little crazy with grief – there must be underlying stresses pushing them – the straw that broke their camel’s back.  I know the feeling.

I just want to know what the heck idiot says that gash in the heat blanket of Atlantis is not urgent!

WHAT IS A PERSONALITY DISORDER?
“…Personality disorder, formerly known as characterological disorder is a class of mental disorders characterized by rigid and on-going patterns of thought and action, sometimes referred to as "fixed fantasies". Because of the inflexibility and pervasiveness of these patterns, they can cause serious personal and social difficulties, as well as a general impairment of functioning, for individuals suffering from these disorders.

Personality disorders are defined by the American Psychiatric Association as "an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it".[citation needed] These patterns, as noted, are inflexible and pervasive across many situations, due in large part to the fact that such behavior is ego-syntonic (i.e., the patterns are consistent with the ego integrity of the individual), and perceived to be appropriate by that individual. The onset of these patterns of behavior can typically be traced back to the beginning of adulthood, and, in rare instances, early adolescence.[citation needed] As with the diagnosis of any clinical disorder, an individual's behavioral pattern must cause significant distress and/or impairment in personal, social, and/or occupational situations….”
What is a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
“…A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
(4) requires excessive admiration
(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes…”
CONSERVATIVES OUT OF CONTROL
MY RANT OF THE DAY
I was going to leave immigration alone today but AJ Strata has a very eloquent posting about the far right and the way they have diminished themselves.

I can’t think of a more perfect segue to my Malkin rant that a snip from Strata’s posting…
“…Hypocrisy is ripe on the far right. They call conservative opposition traitors as they tear asunder the governing coalition. They call Bush un-American because he stood by his positions he held for almost a decade now. And now they have with malice of forethought, left 1-2 million violent criminals on our streets because they don’t like the fines and back taxes on the non-violent criminals. No wonder we need to move these people out of the picture. Their next move to teach us a lesson could be even worse. They could propose we stop the airport security we put in place after 9-11, to teach us another lesson. This kind of twisted logic makes alliances with these people too high a price. The next citizen to die at the hands of a repeat offender illegal immigrant will have the far right to thank for their lesson. Because clearly it is more important to hammer the non-violent criminals than to get the violent ones out of here. It is so obvious why this is Pro-America, what is best for America, saving America. Can’t all you losers in the center who support the immigration bill see that?...”
Malkin has gone too far now.  She has begun a Dump Lindsey Graham campaign.  Would someone please explain to me why GOOD REPUBLICANS must be defeated in order to appease the crybaby conservatives who appear to only be interested in one thing:  immigration their way.  Sorry, but their way isn’t THE AMERICAN WAY!  

I reiterate my position last fall when widdle Tommy Tancredo was trying his darndist to unseat Chris Cannon.  Unless you are a personal friend or have an attachment to a state or district, people from outside that state or district have NO BUSINESS interfering with the election process of that state.  I don’t care who they are or how important they are.  It is wrong, just plain wrong.  If the people of South Carolina like Lindsey, the way the always have, then people outside of SC who know nothing of what goes on there, ought to stay the hell out of it.  Same things goes for any other state.

And, as Strata reiterates, thinks to our blessed conservatives, the growing Hispanic GOP voter block will probably head to the Dems.  What this all proves to me is the thing I’ve been saying for well over a year.  CONSERVATIVES ARE NOT REAL REPUBLICANS.  Republicans vote the elephant and do not stab one another in the back (except at primary time and then all’s fair).  Loyalty to a party and a system of values is far more important than loyalty to an ideology.  The problem with ideology over people is just that – humanity is jettisoned.  Look at the problems we are having with Al Qaeda and terror – ideology over principal and humanity.    

“…Republican and Democratic strategists, as well as independent analysts, say the influence of Hispanic voters is likely to be amplified next year because of an unusually intense response in many Hispanic communities to immigration policy. Conservative Republicans, with the help of some left-leaning Democrats, teamed up on Thursday to derail an immigration bill in the Senate that would have provided a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants….” 

All this goes back to an earlier theory of mine.  Conservatives like Coulter, Limbaugh, Malkin, and the Tanton-assimilated NRO gang really don’t want the Republican Party in power.  It diminishes their power and sphere of influence. If the GOP regains the House and the Senate, and passes comprehensive and logical HUMANE immigration reform, then the role of the conservative will be so diminished they will cease to be a power.  This day is coming.  I think we have begun to see the beginning of the end. I fail to see how ONLY 700,000 names on a petition is important, especially considering how those names were gathered.  The most tragic aspect of this whole fiasco is the fact that John Tanton is now calling the shots in this country.  He has become the most powerful person (outside of the President – and maybe more powerful) in the United States.  When supposedly good, decent people like Coulter, Malkin, Limbaugh, and Hannity accept what a person like Tanton preaches, the hate he preaches at face value, maybe as a nation we are truly doomed.

“…The vast majority of the nation's anti-immigration groups -- more than a dozen in all -- were either formed, led or in other ways made possible by John Tanton's efforts.


Financial records indicate claims of huge numbers of members within these organizations -- in the case of one group, more than 250,000 -- are geometric exaggerations put forward to create a false picture of a "movement" that politicians should pay attention to.


Two Tanton lobbyists now boast they are "virtual staffers" in U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo's office. Tancredo (R-Colo.) heads the Congressional Immigration Reform Caucus.


Tanton's network not only is penetrating the halls of Congress, but also is moving into the arms of hate groups, the white supremacist Council of Conservative Citizens in particular. Identifiable ties now exist between the racialist right and Congressional decision makers…”

I do know this is not who I am.  This wasn’t who the great Ronald Reagan was.  They are destroying the GOP with their agenda and with their rhetoric of hate.  Once upon a time we did not turn on Republicans like Lindsey who were doing what they believed to be right.  Times have changed.  I am not part of that change.  Fact is, it is a change for the worst.  Fact is, the people who are embracing it, now matter how successful, powerful, or important they are, should be totally and completely ashamed of themselves.  Maybe they need to read the words of a formerly illegal Mexican immigrant, now a US citizen and unabashed Republican.

PERSONALITY DISORDER OF THE RIGHT
I put the information about personality disorders at the top of this section because I was hoping you would read it and think about what you read while you went through my rant, rave and the information I provided.

Something is seriously wrong with certain conservatives today when they call for the destruction of the career of an individual who disagrees with their rigid outlook on life.  Not only is it childish, immature, ultimately self-destructive, but the behavior shows a tendency toward a serious emotional disorder.

I am tired of being castigated.  I am tired of hundreds of pornographic trackbacks.  I am tired of people like Malkin calling for the removal of my friend Lindsey Graham from the Senate.  What gives she and about a  half a million like minded individuals (fortunately most of them do not live in SC) the right to belittle someone like Lindsey?  What gives Rush Lumbaugh the right?  There is a difference between honest disagreement and emotionally disturbed attacks.  I hope one day the Right figures this out before they not only destroy themselves (I have reached the point where I could care less) but the Republican Party.

As I mentioned on Wednesday, if our Founding Fathers were dealing with such people when they were trying to write the Constitution of the United States, we would have fallen into disarray.  The only way anything constructive can be achieved in a REPRESENTATIVE REPUBLIC is by give and take and compromise.  When people are too immature, rigid, and emotionally disturbed to compromise, they need to step aside and let the grown-ups do the dirty jobs that keep our nation running.

It is becoming more and more apparent these people, like those on the far left, have no earthly idea how a democracy works.  It is also obvious that, to misquote Rhett Butler, “Frankly, my dear, they don’t give a damn!”  Nothing matters but their agenda.  No one matters but those who are promoting their agenda.  If anyone gets in their way  - they are harassed and destroyed.  If that isn’t narcissism, I don’t know what is.